Love You: Really Do

We are all familiar with the concept of securing your own life jacket or oxygen mask before helping others. This is not a selfish act but a matter of safety.

Yet when it comes to self care we often have difficulties. It can be easier to place the needs of others before the needs of ourselves. We become the lowest priority. Despite that, we still expect that we will have all the physical and emotional stamina for everything in our lives. Our reserves often run low which can make us physically unwell and emotionally resentful. This is a cycle that can repeat and we are perpetuating it. This is harsh but true. It has come about from years of conditioned behaviour about roles and responsibilities. This should not be confused with love.

What does it take:

1. Be a different type of role model – this needs courage!
2. Cultivate a sense of belonging instead of fitting in with everything around you. Make your own kind of music (Mama Cass knew a thing or two).
3. Watch what you expect from others (back to that role modelling again).
4. Accept and even better embrace imperfections.
5. Figure out what really matters to you.
6. Check in with no 5 regularly.
7. Be flexible- but to do this you need reserves and you cannot utilise reserves you don’t have.
8. Listen to your body and mind – learn to respond to what it needs.
9. Recognise that not everyone will be on that same journey as you.
10. Boundary conversations with loving kindness about what you can and cannot do. This takes practice.
11. Know and embrace that you cannot run on empty – role model this simple fact

Good luck, the journey is long.