Love You: Love Your Home🥰

Candle; Music; movement and journal to the ready! Learning to re-frame cleaning.

Re-framing the way you think about things you don’t like doing but know are good for you.

I dislike cleaning – or at least I thought I did. It always feels like a chore and something I can quickly resent (especially if it gets untidy not long after finishing).

However, when I have a clean and tidy home – it feels calmer but moreover I feel calmer.

I was remembering when we first got the house, I would love coming home and feathering the nest. Often recently, I come home from a full day of clinical work and feel overwhelmed by the house. The thought of tidying and feels requires more brain power than I can muster.

I have realised that the care I am showing to my home is almost an extension of the care of myself. I was calling it “the house” instead of our home. Because I was feeling overwhelmed by it – I was resenting it instead of feeling grateful for it.

So what does cleaning and tidying give me that is positive and might re-frame the way I think about it?

1. Movement! Walking, bending and stretching. Not bad for an activity.
2. Mental clarity- I find I can declutter my thoughts, day dream and plan when I clean.
3. House becomes a home. Attitude of gratitude. Falling back in love with my home. Creating a space I want to be in – I want the family to be in.
4. Opportunity to practice surrendering to the impermanence of a clean and tidy home. If will not stay – I need to practice letting this go.
5. Need to practice the approach of time limiting the work.. To balance the act of cleaning and not letting it consume the whole day (especially given number 4). Learning not exhausting myself.

So how am I re-framing the experience?

1. Start with the “rest nest in mind” – light a candle; play nice music and have my journal and pen to hand.
2. I put my watch tracker to “mind and body”. I can clock up as much as I would do in a yoga class.
   • Then and only then I start to clean and tidy.
3. Feel an active gratitude and love for our home. I have a gratitude journal but seldom include my home in my gratitude list.
4. Have little daily habits. Inspired by the Atomic habits book (for these I don’t need to practice point one and two).
5. Get help from the messy makers – allow everyone to live in the home (as in feel free to make mess) but help tidy the home.
6. Time limit it +++ stop whilst still enjoying it. Thinking like I am doing a class at the gym. Not giving it all day.
7. Giving myself permission for it to be good enough! Lived in – loved in🥰. Still not dusted at the time of writing this. My laundry cupboard is an avalanche waiting to happen.

What am I discovering

It’s a good way to get out of my head. Sometimes I need to shift out of being mode and move to doing mode. I know this when I am prone to overthinking. Cleaning can quiet this for me. This was my biggest discovery.

I did a bit of work on the Marie Kondo approach of tidying by category – this was incredible. I got rid of so much stuff and found it liberating.

It’s a bit of a snowball effect and it is getting easier to keep the place at least tidy.

I no longer hate it – seeing it as an extension of self care.

Love You: Love your home – the unfinished masterpiece