Last week we discussed short term goals, changing our inner narrative around them and the Love You Philosophy of Well-being. To recap it was about embracing the ebb and flow of life and make goals but not start:stop or on:off to acknowledge that life will happen and is to be lived. Well-being to work should be part of your identity. So what does this look like as a lived experience?
My short term goals are:
Improved cardiovascular fitness, stamina and strength.
Improved stress levels at work.
Better meal planning to avoid bad snacking.
Lived Experience:
It is 05:21am on Saturday morning as I write this. I have been awake since 4am (my sleep pillar will be protesting around lunch time I predict). Our home has quite a week ahead emotionally and mentally.
Tomorrow marks the one year anniversary of the passing of my Father in Law, and he was and remains a much loved soul. Husband has made the trip over to Ireland to be with family. Sadly it is not possible with the kids school schedule to go over ourselves. Hence why I am awake so early as I wanted to see him off and spend some time.
A basic round up of the week will not be great for the sleep pillar:
Monday wake up around 4:30am as Eldest Daughter going on her activities week and need to be at the school for 5am! Then head to work.
Wednesday also up about 5am as getting the train to Edinburgh for an all day meeting and will not get home until nearly 8:30pm (I am normally on bed for 9:45pm).
I have not included the disturbance of out cat Pan! We love him but obviously he is nocturnal and often does the Hokey Cokey of wanting in and out of the house at night. And Mumma Cat (that’s Me) is usually the one who gets him. Why don’t you have a cat flap I hear you say – well that’s me! I am the cat flap 🤣.
Teaching quite a bit of yoga this week too.
This means three days that are out of my usual routine. I am normally up at 5:45am, asleep at 9:45pm.
I know from a brain fog point of view I will struggle just from tiredness and overstimulation too (intense meetings and busy clinical environments). I will miss my Hubby and Eldest Daughter but my Mum is visiting to support and help 🥰 (never too old to need your Mum).
If I was to approach my short term goals in the binary all or nothing approach what might this mean?
What if I go “all” in as many of us try and do, attempt to fit it all in the “I must” list. So I would try to get to the gym for cardio and pile on the stress of doing it all. That is not well-being. I think that is being-well-stressed. When we find ourselves overwhelmed and spread too thin and we break. The potential recovery for this unnecessary, self inflicted harm could take weeks to overcome. This is not self love. This is harsh but it is true and it’s important you understand this. This is not self love – there I am writing it twice.
Or what if I do nothing? Just forget about “it” this week and pick up where I left off in a week. How many of us have done this? We switch the light off but often we switch the light off all of it. This can have awful consequences and in one week from now self esteem can hit rock bottom and we bury our head in the sand and wait for enough time to pass to peak it back out again. I have certainly done this before and the mountain to climb feels emotionally huge.
Taking the Love You Philosophy reframe this.
It is also important to recognise that wellbeing is not an “it”. There are 6 pillars. I cannot change the shape of my week and my short term goals remain important to me and I am still working on them. However, in order to achieve them I need adjust my priority pillars this week: mental well being, relationships and sleep! I hope you can see this. It’s the yin and yang of balance.
I need to be kind and loving to myself. This is where the long term goals come into place. We play the long game not the short game and we will not fail.
When I acknowledge the long term goals and have adopted wellbeing as part of my identity – the all or nothingness just goes out the window. There is no all or nothing. It simply is – it’s a continuum. Even as I write this I feel the comfort of the ebb and flow of approach. I give myself permission. With that mindset comes possibilities too and potential.
I will move when I can, plan my meals and will enjoy planning yoga classes on Thursday. But time with my family and supporting and connecting with colleagues are so important. Catching up on sleep is too. I will plod and be kind.
Today is definitely a slow brain day – plodding and quiet. Restful with low stimulation. I almost feel like I have a hangover even although I don’t drink alcohol anymore. Inspiration for future blog on dealing with over stimulation.
So that was my lived experience and have I turned my well-being light off – absolutely not!
Love You: embrace the love you philosophy of wellbeing🙏🏼. Have a good week
Love you: Health and Well-being with Lorraine 