Happy birthday to me, just turned 53 🎉
I took the day off work to chill out.
Nothing planned save for hanging with the family. Teenage daughters wake late, and I wanted to just pootle and potter.
I was quite content. I even tidied the house and was very happy until people started asking what I was doing with my day. “Hope you are doing something nice and pampering or spoiling yourself.”
The reality is that I just wanted to chill. I had done extended hours the day before (a form of torture for GPs where we have to work an even longer day in the guise of increasing access).
My lovely friends and family are well-meaning with the “ do something nice” and “ what are you doing with your day off?” – it was me who sabotaged my day. I ask these questions of them too on their birthday. It’s what we say….
I got all into my head with cognitive dissonance and confirmation bias. This was me doing this to myself. What are these, and why do they impact so much?
Confirmation bias is when you look for facts or validation that your choice is right. Obviously, doom-strolling is not a help here as we tend to post our best lives and the things we “do”. My wish was to not “do”- or to do “chillin”. Cognitive dissonance is the stress you feel when there is a mismatch— my wish was to have a chill-out day and my brain was flooding me with things it felt I should do to show that I had had a good day.
Result – I then froze and became stuck, but……I defrosted. I wrote this blog to get it out and to get me out of my head.
I want to do what brings me joy, not what I think other people will want me to do. And for what it is worth— these other people, my friends and family, will absolutely support me having a chill-out day. In fact, they will salute me for it. I have realised that what took place and sabotaged a few hours of my day is what I will now call the cognitive fake news cycle/loop or narrative. It’s like a wee destructive thought loop that plays round in our heads. It’s bonkers, and we do this all the time to ourselves. This imagined sense of what we should be doing vs what we actually want to do.
So what dull but chill-out things did I do on my birthday?
Cooked and baked… I don’t bake; it was a first 👏🎉.
Washed my new yoga mat – messy, interesting, and very wet.
Had a nap đź’¤ – I excel at napping!
Journalling and daydreaming.
Watered my plants
Listened to music
Sang songs with my girls in the car (best part).
Later will go and do and then teach yoga.
🥰 Love You: Life lessons on the things we do to ourselves.
Love you: Health and Well-being with Lorraine 